Bernard King

A friend was having problems with gastric wind

A friend was having problems with gastric wind. After a particularly loud release of pressure she covered it beautifully.

Clochemerle peals again!

A man in the village wanted to sell his house. During the solicitor’s search it transpired the stairs leading to the house did not belong to the house

A Christmas Giggle.

I bough myself a small remote control helicopter (because no one else would buy me one – big kid, childish, etc) for Christmas.

Took my dog for quiet evening walk in the forest.

Took my dog for quiet evening walk in the forest. We passed several houses, all quite isolated with large guard dogs that snarled as we past – except for one.

That was over fifty years ago

James Bond was around thirty-five years old when we met him for the first time. That was over fifty years ago.

Have a problem with a piece of local folklore.

Have a problem with a piece of local folklore.
Truffles are a much prized delicacy and grow here in The South of France among the roots of certain oak trees.

Hot Justice

Hot Justice.

Here in the South of France, fire is feared. The lack of rain, hot sun and the fierce Mistral wind combine to make the countryside an ideal fire bed.
Between May and October fires are banned. Even open barbecues are forbidden.

Archie sighed and closed his computer

Archie sighed and closed his computer, glaring at the hall clock he opened his front door with an annoyed snatch. Who could be knocking on his door, at nearly midnight?

His gasp, blink, and mouth dropping open married into his astonished stagger back.

The Rolling Stones Bigger Bang

I took this picture during my time as a sound engineer in the rock ‘n roll business. It’s a production clock, on stage at Twickenham Rugby Stadium during The Rolling Stones Bigger Bang world tour in 2007.

Notice it counts down to tenths of a second.

So why give you all this guff?

The Apple logo

The Apple logo.

During the second world war. The British captured an enigma code machine, considered by the Nazis to produce unbreakable codes.

 I was invited to a community lunch at the town hall

I was invited to a community lunch at the town hall. I did not really want to go but I asked myself why not? I could not really come up with a satisfactory answer and so I went.

 My neighbour was driving home

My neighbour was driving home. A rather disreputable figure was beside the road holding out his thumb. It was raining and cold and the neighbour, who never picks up hitchhikers, for once stopped.